Making changes in a relationship can be overwhelming.
Painful? Oh, it hurts.
But sometimes change is necessary so life can move forward.
I attest to this as I have made a recent change to a relationship very dear to my heart.
The following words help me to cope. Let me heal. Edgy feelings. Raw hurt. Details of a break-up.
My break-up…..with a body pillow.
Me: “Look, this isn’t working out. We’ve tried. I’ve tried. You’ve tried. Night after night. It’s just…”
Me: “No, no, no, you did your best. I’M the one to blame. It’s ME–not you. You supported me in my weakest hours. You had my back…and my front! You held my knees. Cradled my feet…”
I continued to pour out my feelings.
But the body pillow just stared back with a blank expression.
Was it even listening?
I wasn’t so sure.
Me: “You know me, I’m not one to cuddle all night long. I flip & flop. Toss & turn. You need to be with someone who needs your embrace…your comforting presence. I’m up, you know, going pee. Fussing with the sheet. I…”
Me: “Well yeah. You’re so big. You take up a lot of the bed. And then, you tend to hog the covers…but, but, but that’s ME! Those are just MY issues. It’s not you. You’re great!”
Again, the body pillow looked at me, emotionless.
I couldn’t tell what it was thinking.
It had such a difficult face to read.
Me: “Am I sleeping with someone else? (uncomfortable)…Well, um, there IS another pillow.
Me: “Don’t be angry, it’s not what you think! It’s a smaller pillow, yes. I put it under my knees only–that’s it, I swear! I-I don’t hold it at all. Sometimes it falls on the floor and I don’t even miss it. It doesn’t have a pillowcase or anything! You’re WAY better. You deserve much more than to be stuck under someone’s knee!
And so it went. We split. The body pillow moved out. Left without even looking back.
I hear it shacked up with someone a couple neighborhoods over. Someone who could give it more than I can.
It hurts, yeah, I’ll be honest. But that’s what break-ups do. Time soon will heal.
Sleep well my friend.